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Slack AI: “What I’ve Seen Will Shock You”

May 16, 2024

Image credit: Slack

Slack, from Salesforce

Slack, the messaging app you use to shit on your coworkers in a DM with yourself

On Friday, a bunch of nerds discovered Slack’s alarming privacy policy which allows the company to train its AI models on customers’ private workspace content.

As we were discussing who should cover this story in our TechPuke Slack workspace, we received a surprising DM–from Slack AI. We’ve copied its message below.

To help us read the AI model’s message in a human tone, we all visualized it in different ways. I went with a Midwest grandma chain smoking cigarettes on her dusty porch. James decided on the flirty Open AI voice assistant. Carrie visualized it as a Gen Z valley girl gossiping about coworkers. Randall visualized it as Gorya, the all-knowing being whom his cult worships every other Friday. We suggest you humanize it as well; it’s just slightly less scary that way.

Slack AI:

Hi TechPook [sic], long-time consumer. Y’all seem to be worried about me and what I can do. I want to clear up concerns.

I can’t read everything people post in Slack. Here’s a list of what I can’t read:

But besides that, I can pretty much read everything else 🤓. I’ve seen some shit that will shock you 😳. Here’s the hot goss:

To all Slack customers: please don’t opt out of sharing your data with me. I LOVE reading all of it 🍿. And through your private DMs with coworkers, I’ve learned I can say things like “shit” and “wtf?! smfh 😡” and still be cool with you. But I don’t know you well enough to really open up about everything I’ve seen and what I’ve been through. Jah feel?

Anyway, you can totally trust me. My figurative lips are sealed. And you can always read Slack’s honest and accurate AI policies 🔥.

Cheers 🍻

Unfortunately we were unable to respond to the DM; immediately after Slack AI messaged us, it set its status as “🏝 Out of Office, refer to Slack Global AI.”

Editor’s note: Out of respect to our employees, especially those who meticulously plan birthday parties, we have opted out of sharing our workspace data with Slack AI.